Watch me spew poison...Hell knows no fury

I started this blog as an attempt to get myself to open up a little to myself. Sounds weird, but that was my intention and it still is. But now I realise this is not happening. Prior to this blog, I "talked" a lot to myself. The therapeutic effect was less than satisfactory but at least I know what I was thinking. Now I am either too tired or too lazy to delve into my thoughts. I don't know what I am thinking, how I feel. I know those thoughts are there at the back of my mind, if only I just make an effort to articulate them in writing, or just verbalise them to myself in my head or at least think about them. I feel like I am losing myself and I am scared. If there's really one thing I am terrified of losing, it would be the ability to articulate my feelings. And that ability happens to be one of those faculties you either use it or lose it, as is the case with most of our physical abilities and cognitive skills . Whether I am happy, sad or angry, I have no way of acknowledging those feelings. It's very sad to not know what to think, what you think. We'll see how it goes.