Friday, January 14, 2005
I have been having problems sleeping recently. Hit by the insomnia bug, perhaps. I feel so awake and alert at night. I am not working, so I have lots of time on my hands and of course enough time to steal a nap or two during the daytime. This lifestyle is so unhealthy, not to mention how lacking in self-discipline it is.
I think I should get a job. I was so sick of my last job, I resigned without much thought and of course on Nic's encouragement. Since I don't have that many accounts to pass on to my successor, my boss was agreeable to releasing me as soon as I had finished my hand-over. That was the only good thing he's done for me, in my short stint there.
My attempts to get Nic to talk failed again. This guy is really one stubborn person if you push the right buttons. I think I managed to push all of them right this time. I don't know what he feels, so how can I proceed to make things right?
Again, I snuggled up against him during his obligatory before-bedtime reading, (he has such an eclectic taste in books), locking my arms into his and slipping my fingers into his, he did not falter and he did not acknowledge my presence either. He didn't even so much as look at me like he did yesterday. He continued reading. I started to move my other hand up and down his arm casually to elicit any kind of response from him. He looked at me briefly and I smiled at him. His expression told me he didn't appreciate the brushing action on his arm and I stopped. He returned to his reading. We stayed that way for about 15mins. He then carefully disengaged himself from my arms, went for a drink of water and came back and slept carefully on one side of the bed.
He totally ignored me and I don't like to be ignored. I like him because he treats me like a princess and makes me feel adored and loved. How can I prod him into saying something, anything at all. If you are angry, lash out at me. If you are upset, tell me exactly why. Just say something.
I think I should get a job. I was so sick of my last job, I resigned without much thought and of course on Nic's encouragement. Since I don't have that many accounts to pass on to my successor, my boss was agreeable to releasing me as soon as I had finished my hand-over. That was the only good thing he's done for me, in my short stint there.
My attempts to get Nic to talk failed again. This guy is really one stubborn person if you push the right buttons. I think I managed to push all of them right this time. I don't know what he feels, so how can I proceed to make things right?
Again, I snuggled up against him during his obligatory before-bedtime reading, (he has such an eclectic taste in books), locking my arms into his and slipping my fingers into his, he did not falter and he did not acknowledge my presence either. He didn't even so much as look at me like he did yesterday. He continued reading. I started to move my other hand up and down his arm casually to elicit any kind of response from him. He looked at me briefly and I smiled at him. His expression told me he didn't appreciate the brushing action on his arm and I stopped. He returned to his reading. We stayed that way for about 15mins. He then carefully disengaged himself from my arms, went for a drink of water and came back and slept carefully on one side of the bed.
He totally ignored me and I don't like to be ignored. I like him because he treats me like a princess and makes me feel adored and loved. How can I prod him into saying something, anything at all. If you are angry, lash out at me. If you are upset, tell me exactly why. Just say something.
# posted by Oddball @ 2:13 AM 
