Monday, January 31, 2005
I helped Nic to pack for his Chicago trip last night. All he has to do is put in his toiletries (toothbrush and shaver mainly, he has one complete set of all other toiletries for all his overseas trips.) tomorrow morning.
Still feeling very depressed about the high school crush. Been thinking alot about the past lately, to the extent I find it hard to focus. I will be starting the temporary job this Wednesday for two weeks. Hopefully it will take my mind off that stupid crush. I wonder if he feels the same way about me. We are all happily attached now, but does his heart still skip a bit like mine always do when he sees me? Does he look forward to seeing me at those high school reunions? Does he ever wonder what it would be like if we were together? Does he have a tinge of regret sometimes and think about me wistfully? We will never ever socialise with each other privately outside of our high school friends, but does he have a special place in his heart for me? That's all I want to know. We won't date, he's marrying his gf soon, so there's nothing else to say but I still would very much want to know how he feels toward me. I don't think he will ever break up with his current gf. His opinions used to matter a lot to me. For a while, I convinced myself he's nobody to me, but now I have come to realise his opinions about me still matter a lot to me.
Saw his gf at another friend's party last Friday. Talk about small world. The world is indeed smaller when you are talking about rivals and enemies. I seem to sense this hostility and animosity coming from her. Perhaps her instincts tell her that I am after her guy. Girls have strong instincts and more often than not, they are accurate, except for mine. I tried to be friendly to her nonetheless. Perhaps I am over-reading things. Yes again, she reiterated that they are getting married. I get it, seriously. He's off limits. He's spoken for. I have Nic who is more than 10 times more desirable than him in so many aspects. Stop showing him off like a trophy. Yes I am not married yet I am living with him. That makes me a slut someone doesn't even love enough to want to marry but enjoys enough to keep around for quick sex. I know how to manage my relationship. For the record, Nic did bring up the issue of marriage sometime back and we both think it's too soon to be contemplating that. Don't preach to me about morals. You ain't exactly a saint either. And yes I am out of a job for those slow on the uptake.
Jackass. Jerk and jackass. What a perfect match. Now I know.
Still feeling very depressed about the high school crush. Been thinking alot about the past lately, to the extent I find it hard to focus. I will be starting the temporary job this Wednesday for two weeks. Hopefully it will take my mind off that stupid crush. I wonder if he feels the same way about me. We are all happily attached now, but does his heart still skip a bit like mine always do when he sees me? Does he look forward to seeing me at those high school reunions? Does he ever wonder what it would be like if we were together? Does he have a tinge of regret sometimes and think about me wistfully? We will never ever socialise with each other privately outside of our high school friends, but does he have a special place in his heart for me? That's all I want to know. We won't date, he's marrying his gf soon, so there's nothing else to say but I still would very much want to know how he feels toward me. I don't think he will ever break up with his current gf. His opinions used to matter a lot to me. For a while, I convinced myself he's nobody to me, but now I have come to realise his opinions about me still matter a lot to me.
Saw his gf at another friend's party last Friday. Talk about small world. The world is indeed smaller when you are talking about rivals and enemies. I seem to sense this hostility and animosity coming from her. Perhaps her instincts tell her that I am after her guy. Girls have strong instincts and more often than not, they are accurate, except for mine. I tried to be friendly to her nonetheless. Perhaps I am over-reading things. Yes again, she reiterated that they are getting married. I get it, seriously. He's off limits. He's spoken for. I have Nic who is more than 10 times more desirable than him in so many aspects. Stop showing him off like a trophy. Yes I am not married yet I am living with him. That makes me a slut someone doesn't even love enough to want to marry but enjoys enough to keep around for quick sex. I know how to manage my relationship. For the record, Nic did bring up the issue of marriage sometime back and we both think it's too soon to be contemplating that. Don't preach to me about morals. You ain't exactly a saint either. And yes I am out of a job for those slow on the uptake.
Jackass. Jerk and jackass. What a perfect match. Now I know.
# posted by Oddball @ 8:30 AM 
