Watch me spew poison...Hell knows no fury

Met the high school crush and the gf by chance yesterday when I was with 2 close girlfriends and we sat down for lunch together. My heart still skips a beat when I see him, and I thought my feelings for him have waned over the years. . Well, I concede my heart knows better than I would care to admit. Seems like they are planning to get married soon. I am happy with Nic now but I still feel a knot in my stomach when I heard that. All I am looking for is an answer. I want to know if he has or ever had any sort of romantic feelings for me, even the most remote. But then so what if his answer is yes, will we pursue those feelings further now? The correct timing is everything. We have passed that time. But all I want is an answer. So that I could curse myself to death for not holding on to him when it matters most? So that I can live my life around a ton of 'what-ifs' and 'what-nots'? And break 2 relationship s and 4 hearts in the process and leave 4 more unhappy souls on this place? But I am just desperate for an answer. At least I know he does feel for me and I am not imagining it.