Monday, April 18, 2005
One lesson both Nic and I learnt over this weekend - Never say never. Oh yes, and he didn't spend the last weekend working, true to his forecast that things at work would slow down considerably from last week.
We made up on Friday night. It's a pattern for us. If we quarrel, we always make an effort to reconcile on Fridays so that we can enjoy the weekend just basking in each other's company.
He compromised, or rather gave in to me totally. Yes, venue of our romantic getaway will be a local downtown hotel, like what I wanted. We will be going over next weekend, which incidentally is also a long weekend. But we will not be splurging the entire long weekend on the romantic getaway. It's too good to spend it this way. Nic wants to have some time for us to do other stuff together, which is perfectly fine by me. So the romantic getaway will start officially on Friday night and end on Sunday afternoon. Yippie.
When I asked him why he changed his mind. I reminded him he did say I could sulk all I want cos he would never change his mind on this. And he cheekily said, 'Did I say never?'
'Well that was the idea.'
'Well, never say never I guess.' he said.
In case you think I am a spoilt bitch, well I compromised in other ways too.
Never say never for me too. And Nic didn't even have to ask that of me. In fact, he told me I didn't have to. I did it on my own initiative. That's gotta count for something, at least an A for effort and for being proactive. I could tell he appreciated it alot. See, I am a giving person (pun alert!!) too. I don't just take. It was tedious though, definitely not something I look forward to doing again anytime soon. But I told Nic he should feel comfortable enough asking anything from me. Frankly, it's not something I enjoy, but I am willing to do it to make him happy, just like what he's intending to do for me for the romantic getaway. I know what it means to be in a relationship. I know how to accomodate. I understand that concept, of course. I have only been in one other serious relationship before him, but sure I do know about such things. What I need is for him to be more vocal about his needs and his thoughts. I am no mind reader. Previously when we talked about that oral sex issue, I walked away from the discussion thinking it's something he wanted to do with me just for perhaps experimental purposes to see if it's any different than his previous experiences. It's something he could do with or without. He clarified that it's not something he cannot live without, but it's more like something he rather live with from time to time. He's not saying we make it a regular part of our sex life, or do it with any kind of regularity, just perhaps like a snack we have on occassion when the right mood hits us. He only wants me to be open to exploring that option. And he got quite peeved when I simply shut that idea down without any effort made at exploring it further together. He wants us to talk about it together. And I told him he needs only to tell me all this.
Well in retrospect, admittedly, I think on some level he tried to. But somehow, by his own admission too, he failed to be more assertive about his opinions with me, as with all other issues to do with me. He said his heart melts whenever I whine a little or pout a little more. He admits it's something we have to work through, the way he relates to me that is. He's never had a girlfriend so many years his junior and sometimes, he doesn't know what to do with me. Should he 'discipline' me, so to speak, and take a firmer stance with me, or should he just indulge me? I told him we will figure that out as we go along, but until we get it down to a formula perfectly, he should just do what he deems fit. Sometimes, frankly even I think I am whiny. That's how I am, I am whiny by nature. But it's not something I do to try and manipulate him, it's just something.....I do maybe out of habit. I don't even know what I am trying to accoomplish through whinning, it's not necessarily to get my way. I just want reassurance of his love for me, I guess. So until he and me figure me out, yes he should just do as he deems fit.
Communication does work wonders doesn't it? Talking is of no use when you don't communicate your thoughts.
And true to the spirit of straight talk, he told me why he had wanted to have the getaway at a beach resort. So that we could have sex on the beach. Hmmm. I will think about that, but no promises.
We made up on Friday night. It's a pattern for us. If we quarrel, we always make an effort to reconcile on Fridays so that we can enjoy the weekend just basking in each other's company.
He compromised, or rather gave in to me totally. Yes, venue of our romantic getaway will be a local downtown hotel, like what I wanted. We will be going over next weekend, which incidentally is also a long weekend. But we will not be splurging the entire long weekend on the romantic getaway. It's too good to spend it this way. Nic wants to have some time for us to do other stuff together, which is perfectly fine by me. So the romantic getaway will start officially on Friday night and end on Sunday afternoon. Yippie.
When I asked him why he changed his mind. I reminded him he did say I could sulk all I want cos he would never change his mind on this. And he cheekily said, 'Did I say never?'
'Well that was the idea.'
'Well, never say never I guess.' he said.
In case you think I am a spoilt bitch, well I compromised in other ways too.
Never say never for me too. And Nic didn't even have to ask that of me. In fact, he told me I didn't have to. I did it on my own initiative. That's gotta count for something, at least an A for effort and for being proactive. I could tell he appreciated it alot. See, I am a giving person (pun alert!!) too. I don't just take. It was tedious though, definitely not something I look forward to doing again anytime soon. But I told Nic he should feel comfortable enough asking anything from me. Frankly, it's not something I enjoy, but I am willing to do it to make him happy, just like what he's intending to do for me for the romantic getaway. I know what it means to be in a relationship. I know how to accomodate. I understand that concept, of course. I have only been in one other serious relationship before him, but sure I do know about such things. What I need is for him to be more vocal about his needs and his thoughts. I am no mind reader. Previously when we talked about that oral sex issue, I walked away from the discussion thinking it's something he wanted to do with me just for perhaps experimental purposes to see if it's any different than his previous experiences. It's something he could do with or without. He clarified that it's not something he cannot live without, but it's more like something he rather live with from time to time. He's not saying we make it a regular part of our sex life, or do it with any kind of regularity, just perhaps like a snack we have on occassion when the right mood hits us. He only wants me to be open to exploring that option. And he got quite peeved when I simply shut that idea down without any effort made at exploring it further together. He wants us to talk about it together. And I told him he needs only to tell me all this.
Well in retrospect, admittedly, I think on some level he tried to. But somehow, by his own admission too, he failed to be more assertive about his opinions with me, as with all other issues to do with me. He said his heart melts whenever I whine a little or pout a little more. He admits it's something we have to work through, the way he relates to me that is. He's never had a girlfriend so many years his junior and sometimes, he doesn't know what to do with me. Should he 'discipline' me, so to speak, and take a firmer stance with me, or should he just indulge me? I told him we will figure that out as we go along, but until we get it down to a formula perfectly, he should just do what he deems fit. Sometimes, frankly even I think I am whiny. That's how I am, I am whiny by nature. But it's not something I do to try and manipulate him, it's just something.....I do maybe out of habit. I don't even know what I am trying to accoomplish through whinning, it's not necessarily to get my way. I just want reassurance of his love for me, I guess. So until he and me figure me out, yes he should just do as he deems fit.
Communication does work wonders doesn't it? Talking is of no use when you don't communicate your thoughts.
And true to the spirit of straight talk, he told me why he had wanted to have the getaway at a beach resort. So that we could have sex on the beach. Hmmm. I will think about that, but no promises.
# posted by Oddball @ 9:15 PM 
