Sunday, May 08, 2005
I am so upset and confused now. I was going through Nic's luggage to see if he's missed out anything while he was just finishing up his packing when I found condoms.
'What's this?'
'You found it in there? I must have left it in amongst the toiletries by mistake.'
'I guess my question is what's condoms doing in your bag packed for an overseas trip? Are you expecting to get laid?'
Denial and more denial. And I am so totally not convinced. Anyway I hate to quarrel on the eve of a 4-day overseas trip, and I didn't want to end up crying. So I told him matter-of-factly I have always thought we are in an exclusive relationship, so if the reality's not the same as what I think it is, please inform me so that I can start seeing other men too. Of course, he tried to reassure me and that it was just a mistake and I overreacted and blew it out of proportion blah blah blah... you know totally unconvincing stuff. So here I am fuming and blogging at the same time. Sometimes a girl's instincts are so accurate you just gotta trust them and act on them. I expected G's break-up with me and it materialised. Now I am filled with a sense of foreboding about the outlook of my relationship with Nic, so I guess a break-up is expected in the forseeable future.
Guys, give them too much rope and they will hang themselves, me and our relationship. I have never believed that I will ever have the misfortune of having a bf cheat on me. To me, it's just so melodramatic. G has had one gf cheat on him previously, which pissed him off a great deal. He hates cheaters too and has never cheated on his gfs before. He said he's 'old-fashioned in that way.' But fidelity has always been in fashion, last time I checked. It's a time-honoured virtue. Could it been a genuine mistake? What are the odds? Boooo... But there could be some element of truth in that, cos the last time he packed his toiletries was in preparation for the getaway, and he always puts his condoms with the toiletries. So could it be a mistake?
I should start checking out other prospects and reconsidering my options. Maybe make contact with G for a start. At least maintain cordial relations, if not friendly, with JJ. If I have any hopes of marriage, it would be with him and sometimes I can't help wondering about the smiles and claps of approval I would get from my parents if I date JJ. After how I pissed him off last week, it's gonna be difficult to mend the bridges. So I only have two other options, both of which are not even remotely attainable or possible. I feel like crying. How is it possible for some girls to be attached and yet have 2-3 guys pursuing them zealously? It helps to keep their bfs on their toes. This sort of good things just doesn't happen to me. Maybe Nic thinks I am unwanted and that entitles him to treat me like crap cos he accepted a piece of crap. Jerk. Jackass. Perhaps I should start checking out neighbours and colleagues.
And I will be seeing JJ again this weekend again at one of those high school reunions again. Yes again, I thought we just had one not too long ago. How awkward is it going to get?? Maybe I will give it a miss afterall.
'What's this?'
'You found it in there? I must have left it in amongst the toiletries by mistake.'
'I guess my question is what's condoms doing in your bag packed for an overseas trip? Are you expecting to get laid?'
Denial and more denial. And I am so totally not convinced. Anyway I hate to quarrel on the eve of a 4-day overseas trip, and I didn't want to end up crying. So I told him matter-of-factly I have always thought we are in an exclusive relationship, so if the reality's not the same as what I think it is, please inform me so that I can start seeing other men too. Of course, he tried to reassure me and that it was just a mistake and I overreacted and blew it out of proportion blah blah blah... you know totally unconvincing stuff. So here I am fuming and blogging at the same time. Sometimes a girl's instincts are so accurate you just gotta trust them and act on them. I expected G's break-up with me and it materialised. Now I am filled with a sense of foreboding about the outlook of my relationship with Nic, so I guess a break-up is expected in the forseeable future.
Guys, give them too much rope and they will hang themselves, me and our relationship. I have never believed that I will ever have the misfortune of having a bf cheat on me. To me, it's just so melodramatic. G has had one gf cheat on him previously, which pissed him off a great deal. He hates cheaters too and has never cheated on his gfs before. He said he's 'old-fashioned in that way.' But fidelity has always been in fashion, last time I checked. It's a time-honoured virtue. Could it been a genuine mistake? What are the odds? Boooo... But there could be some element of truth in that, cos the last time he packed his toiletries was in preparation for the getaway, and he always puts his condoms with the toiletries. So could it be a mistake?
I should start checking out other prospects and reconsidering my options. Maybe make contact with G for a start. At least maintain cordial relations, if not friendly, with JJ. If I have any hopes of marriage, it would be with him and sometimes I can't help wondering about the smiles and claps of approval I would get from my parents if I date JJ. After how I pissed him off last week, it's gonna be difficult to mend the bridges. So I only have two other options, both of which are not even remotely attainable or possible. I feel like crying. How is it possible for some girls to be attached and yet have 2-3 guys pursuing them zealously? It helps to keep their bfs on their toes. This sort of good things just doesn't happen to me. Maybe Nic thinks I am unwanted and that entitles him to treat me like crap cos he accepted a piece of crap. Jerk. Jackass. Perhaps I should start checking out neighbours and colleagues.
And I will be seeing JJ again this weekend again at one of those high school reunions again. Yes again, I thought we just had one not too long ago. How awkward is it going to get?? Maybe I will give it a miss afterall.
# posted by Oddball @ 8:51 PM 
