Watch me spew poison...Hell knows no fury

I feel slightly stressed and I hate this feeling. It's not healthy for the long-term. I am such a worrier and I know the chance of things not going smoothly is always gonna be a part of my job or life in general for that matter. I feel so insecure. I am always scaring myself silly that something will go wrong. I don't want to end up fearing about everything everyday. I don't want the thing I love most to become the source of my paranoia. I should just relax.

Talking to Nic calms me down. But he's too busy nowadays. I know he really wants to listen, but is too preoccupied and too tired to. And it gets boring after a while listening to the same grouses and insecurities. And I know he really tries hard for me. And it's easier to just roll me over and get on with it. I really do understand, I really do, but I am just complaining, like I always do.

I have to learn to be happy and not be greedy.